Idiot
by x.imagine.x
Summary: <html><head></head>"He needs to decide, but at the same time he hopes he never will. If he procrastinates, it's another day he gets to spend with her, another time he gets to hold her hand and kiss her lips."</html>


**A/N: Alright, so I've decided to write yet another one… I'm addicted! The lines indicate a break between present and past.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

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><p><strong>Idiot<strong>

Scorpius Malfoy stares at the picture in his hands, wishing he could go back to the moment the picture was snapped. He wishes he could take the place of the smiling boy in the picture and be happy for even the briefest of moments. He wishes he hadn't been such an idiot.

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><p>He wanders the castle at night, protected from detention by the shiny badge pinned to his robes, considering his options on the matter. His friends are no help; they've all but deserted him. He knows exactly what his father would say if he asked. He stands alone on this. He needs to decide, but at the same time he hopes he never will. If he procrastinates, it's another day he gets to spend with her, another time he gets to hold her hand and kiss her lips.<p>

But it's also another day that he lies to her, another day that he continues to lead her on. Every day he does nothing is another day that the guilt consumes him. He feels horrible for laughing and joking with her, all the while waging a silent war inside. She's unaware of this ongoing battle, and he knows that if she did, she would probably spare him the trouble and decide _for_ him.

The truth of the matter is that his father wouldn't approve. He's spent the vast majority of Scorpius's schooling sneering at the very mention of the name Weasley. Scorpius remembers the tales of rivalry between his father and hers that were, at one time, considered bedtime stories. No, his father would be very angry indeed if he came home at Christmas with the news that he was now fraternizing with the enemy.

"Scorpius?" Her voice rings down the corridor, startling him.

He turns, spreading a huge grin across his face to disguise the thoughts he was entertaining only moments earlier. "I didn't know it was your patrol tonight," He comments, striding toward her, eager to wrap her in his arms.

"What are you doing down here?" She asks just before he plants his lips on hers, preventing an answer. He deepens the kiss as she wraps her arms around his neck, twining her fingers in his newly short hair. He's never really liked it short, but she does. His heart contracts as he pulls her closer.

The moment is much too short as she pulls back, breathing more heavily than before. Grinning, she murmurs, "You know this is a blatant violation of the Prefect's Code. I'm supposed to perform my rounds _without _distractions."

He smirks, once more stuffing his inner turmoil deep beneath the surface, "Live a little, Weasley. What's life without a few violations?" He leans in once more, capturing her lips with his yet again, savouring the moment before she pulls away. He stares into her eyes for as long as he can before moving his gaze across her face, hoping to memorize every minute detail. The freckle on the right side of her nose, darker than the rest of the group that pepper the bridge of her nose and cheeks, the slight dimple that forms as she smiles up at him, the deep, creamy caramel of her eyes.

"What?" She asks, letting out a laugh of embarrassment. He stops himself from dwelling on how cute it is.

This is his opportunity. She knows something is going on. He should just make the decision right here and now. Except that he can't. He can't force himself to wipe that smile off her face. _Tomorrow,_ he thinks to himself, _I'll decide tomorrow._ He doesn't think that he's been telling himself that for a good week now.

Instead, he shakes his head, "Nothing. You're bloody beautiful."

Her eyes narrow as she studies his face more closely. He can tell she doesn't believe that it's nothing.

"I should probably let you go finish your patrol," He says, pressing a kiss to her forehead, but not releasing her.

"You probably should," She agrees, before giggling, "You do know that requires you to let me go, right?"

The words hit a nerve inside him and he instinctively tightens his hold. He doesn't _want_ to let her go, but what he wants doesn't matter.

She laughs again, "I'm serious Scorp. Let me go!"

Her laughter diminishes the whole 'serious' thing. Normally, he would laugh along with her, but she's unaware of what she's just said.

"Scorpius?" She asks again, the smile falling from her face, "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, of course," He lies yet again.

She's silent, raising her eyebrows and waiting for him to be honest. He hates that she can see right through him.

"I love you," He blurts out finally. It's the first time he's ever said those precious three words, and before she can reply, he knows he has to say what he's been dreading, "But I can't be with you anymore."

The look of complete confusion that crosses her face makes his heart ache as he finally releases his hold on her waist. "What do you mean?" She asks in a small voice, backing away slowly.

He is at a complete loss for words, stumbling to find any that will make this hurt her any less. "It's not- It's not anything you did, you have to know that."

"Oh really. Well then what exactly is it?" She hisses, her voice filled with venom.

"Look, Rose, we knew how our families felt about each other when we started seeing each other…" He says, trailing off as he picks his next words carefully, "My father is never going to approve of this. He'll disown me."

She makes a noise of disgust deep in her throat as her eyes fill with tears. "I can't believe you. I can't believe you're doing this because of _money_."

"Not just money, Rose. You're worth more than any fortune!"

"Oh really?" She snaps, "Because you could have fooled me."

"It's not the money. It's… I have no one else. My parents are the only family I've got left! If I alienate them I'm completely alone. I can't do that to myself, or to them."

"If they care about you they won't abandon you just because you're in a relationship."

"You don't understand. Everyone is against us! I can't face another day of silence in my dormitory because none of my friends will talk to me. I can't stand the murderous glares I get from your cousins. I can't stand to imagine the complete disapproval on my father's face when he finds out I'm dating a Weasley."

"I don't understand. _I_ don't understand? Where in Merlin's name do think I've been through all this? Right beside you, you prat! I've seen the dirty looks and the cold-shoulders! I've been in a silent dormitory of my own. Don't think you've got it tougher than me just because my friends are more open-minded than yours. And as for your father, mine feels exactly the same, but I don't care. If he wants to disapprove, he can go for it. He's not the one in this relationship. Once he sees I'm happy he'll come around."

"Well how bloody nice for you," He snaps, "How brilliant that your friends and parents don't care who you date."

Both are silent for a moment as they take deep breaths, settling themselves.

"I'm sorry, Rose, I didn't want to do this at midnight, and I sure as hell didn't want to start an all-out row," He concedes, running a hand through his hair, "But I'm just _so_ tired of this all. I can't live like this anymore. I want my life back, and I know you want yours. It's just easier this way."

She scoffs, "Easier," and presses her lips into a thin line. "I guess I should have seen this coming. How long have you known you were going to pick them over me?" She asks, and the words are a knife through his heart.

"I don't- I didn't-" He fumbles for the words that will make it better, but none come.

"Nevermind. It doesn't matter." She sounds defeated now. He wishes she were still angry.

"I'm sorry, Rose. I didn't want to do this."

"Yeah, well you did so that doesn't really mean much to me," She snaps, and then, sensing his desire to say something else, adds, "Don't say anything else. You've gotten your point across just fine."

He opens his mouth again, despite her statement.

"If you'll excuse me, I have a patrol to finish, and you're out of bed after curfew," She tells him, her voice dull and emotionless. He suspects she's holding in her emotions until he leaves. She wouldn't want him to see her at her weakest. His impulse is to say something, anything, to make this right.

Instead, he turns and walks away, knowing it will probably do more good than staying and trying to make the situation any less painful. He retreats to the Slytherin dormitory, feeling every bit as though he's lived up to the house's name tonight. Even the thought that everything will go back to normal in the morning isn't enough to lull him to sleep as he spends the rest of the night staring at the canopy hanging over his four poster bed.

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><p>It's been one month to the day since he broke Rose Weasley's heart, and, by default, his own. Her cousins treat him with the cool indifference they did before they were together, his friends are back to talking to him, and his father still holds an image of the perfect son in his mind, but none of it matters. He thought that giving her up would make them both happier, but it's done the exact opposite for him. He sees her laughing with her friends and it only makes it worse. How could he have been so stupid?<p>

Running his finger over her face one last time, he tucks the photograph of them back into the false bottom of his bedside table, wishing once more he hadn't been such an idiot.

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><p><strong>AN: Ok, so there it is! It was brought to my attention (after I wrote Coward) that in the fics here, Rose is most always the one that breaks up with Scorpius, so I figured I'd better put one out so people can hate Scorpius too. It's only fair!**


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